I have been thinking about this a lot in recent times, if someone is avoiding you how can you confront them? Especially if they are the type of person who will not hash it out? It is hard to confront someone who isn’t even speaking to you.
For me I write it out, my blog has become a way for me to speak my mind, resolve issues and other such things. But it is also for me a way of sharing my journey and life with friends and family the fact I have been told in recent times my blog is inspiring others is an added bonus and something I feel very touched by.
We all have people who either vanish from our lives with no word, rhyme or reason, or who slowly disappear leaving us wondering why?
Issues that will never get to be confronted, although my preference has always been to talk things out face to face, when it is someone you have never met in person or who doesn’t live close to home it is harder, when it is someone who doesn’t speak to you even when you say hi on a messenger then how can you confront that person?
You can’t really because it is like a void and so it falls to my blog for me to resolve how I am feeling. Of course you will notice I have never said who that person is. In fact only a handful of people in my life know who that person is and what motivated the previous blog. I am proud of that blog it is nice to stop and look back and see how far you have come in life and within yourself sometimes and look at the bumpy road that lead you to the place you are now in.
In fact I don’t wish the man in question any harm or ill will, but it breaks my heart to think of him doing the same thing to other women, who for whatever reason may not be as strong or emotionally stable. Whose trust once shattered may never regain it. In fact I do hope he finds his way through all the crap and finds the life he wants without the need to hurt others in the process.
I am a person who likes to come full circle in life, I need closure however life doesn’t always co operate and some things will never be answered. Whatever the way things happen I know I need to find my own way through them and resolve them so I can let go and move forward. I have never been a person to run away from confrontation, I don’t like it, I would often prefer to discuss things calmly and rationally and work through them. That isn’t always an option and when emotions are involved we often talk from a place of hurt or anger. And I know part of my last blog came from that place well it started that way but as I write these things have a way of becoming so much more than any emotion be it good or bad.
I can only speak of how I find my way through things along my journey as we are all so different and deal with things differently.
I like to write it out get it out of my system, deal with it to the best of my ability, burn my bridges (if necessary) and move on forward. I have always been that way and I know some people may think that it’s unhealthy to be that way. But is it healthy to hang on and nurse all the pain, keeping it locked away on the inside? Or better to learn from life’s experiences and move forward for me it is this I thrive when I grow rather than holding onto the negativity like a shroud.
“Life is a lesson yet to be learnt” ACM -some lessons are easier than others, the knowledge that I no longer believe I only deserve or will settle for second best is very much a blessing.
Find your own resolution with or without the other person involved.
There is a further step in this process and that is FORGIVENESS not only of the other person for their actions or behaviour but of yourself. Without true forgiveness we cannot truly move forward and we are not truly free until we can forgive. Dr Wayne Dyer has said (and I am paraphrasing him so it isn’t word for word) that forgiveness can be a truly selfish act because we don’t even have to let someone else know we have forgiven them.
Resolution and forgiveness are the two keys to resolving the unresolvable (yes I know it sounds strange). But we are talking about finding your own way to resolve the problem that doesn’t involve the other person who won’t allow you to get to that place of resolution with them. Forgiveness can be a harder journey but they go hand in hand in allowing us the freedom to move forward and leave the past behind rather than adding it to the baggage we carry with us through life.
I hope you find your resolution, a way to forgiveness and may your lessons once learnt never need to be repeated
In love and light