I have been thinking about many things over the last year. We learn so many lessons as human beings, both good and bad. We grow! We Change! We Evolve! But the lessons we learn as a “FAT” chick in our society often stay with and haunt us.
From the fact we are expected to feel bad about who we are, to the I should make fun of myself first kind of mentality many fat women and indeed men adopt.
I think the place we see this even more rampant is in FASHION!
I grew up being told to wear black and dark colours because it is “Slimming” that I wasn’t allowed to have a bubble skirt when they were all the rage because they quite simply did not make them in my size. I remember going clothes shopping with my mother as a teenager as being a hellish nightmare of ok it fits let me get you that in every colour they have, and I had one of the ugliest wardrobes of clothes at times I look back and cringe in a how could you have let me out of the house like that mum kind of way. I remember mum making dad and his new girlfriend take me shopping at this plus sized clothing store warehouse type place and me insisting on them buying me two dresses that I fell in love with and to make them happy agreeing to two others I was like I suppose. My favourite was actually made from fleecy lined material, had horizontal stripes and ruffley flounces at the bottom two of them and I adored it to death did not feel bad in it and even now still remember how that dress made me feel.
And thus clothes became more functional than something I truly wanted. I honestly loathed clothes shopping. I mean what was the point. I have seen the evolution of the plus and supersize market. But it truly wasn’t until my first time working at a Sydney Mind Body Spirit Festival that I fell in love with clothes again. There is a woman there who has the mist amazing Dresses that make any woman no matter her shape or size look like a goddess. I spent every cent I earn’t at that festival on 4 new dresses from her. They were not cheap, but they did last a long time and best of all WERE NOT BLACK OR DARK COLOURS!!! They were beautiful blues and greens, oranges and purples, and such a revolution. I COULD WEAR COLOUR! Without having to mix it with the obligatory black to make it acceptable. And even more miraculous I could look good with my curves showing.
My interest in fashion somewhat renewed I discovered shopping online and an eBay seller who was not only in my country but made some beautiful plus size clothes that even 6 years later I am still able to wear and look good in.
In recent times I have been expanding the colours in my wardrobe. I want to be able to wear a rainbow if I so choose. A FA (Fat Admirer) told me he liked his women in autumn colours some time ago and I remember arguing with him. Not because there is something wrong with that colour palette but because he often feels the need to justify his preference for a super sized woman and the dark colours of an autumn palette are a great way to tone down some of that bulk and in some ways make her more acceptable in societies eyes.
I have had this conversation with a few people over the last year and what I have discovered is that so many of us do it. We wear dark drab colours in fear or out of habit.
There is another bad fashion habit I have been breaking out of and this one has taken a little longer because well it is twofold comfort, and fear of being made fun of are two of the reasons the other is it is hard to break the habits of a lifetime. That is the Tent clothes syndrome many larger people are prone to. Wearing clothes to cover up our excess bulk and ending up in things that are sooo miss shappen, and loose that you almost lose sight of the fact there is a person in there. I have shirts still that have become around the house clothes and I cringe they are literally double my size what was I thinking. I am not saying every person who is big has to dress the way I do or even change how they dress. But it is time to think about why you dress and wear what you do. And if you have the courage to step out of those comfort zones and change it then go for it. If you are happy and comfortable with big and baggy or even dark colours there is nothing wrong with that. For me however I want to celebrate life and celebration needs vibrant vivid technicolour!
It is time to celebrate who we are, break the rules! Wear colour, march to your own fashion beat. Celebrate every single curve and wear what YOU want to wear. In other words dress for yourself. It is amazing what bringing a little colour into your wardrobe can also do for your mood, your self esteem and your own happiness.
Till next we meet on life’s journey celebrate who you are, no matter your shape, size or fashion sense
In love and light