So often in life we are loyal to the wrong people and also those who deserve our loyalty. About a month or two ago a recent ex accused me of being disloyal to him after he took away his friendship, lied, cheated and threw my unconditional love away. I was also accused of trying to break up him and his new love. All the things that anyone who knows me knows I would never do! Anyway back to the point. How do I owe this man any loyalty at all after the way he has acted? I told the truth that is it! Nothing more or less, I never vilified him, nor have I spent time trashing his character or who he is as a person. I have only ever wished him happiness and carry no ill will or ill intent towards him or his new girlfriend.
As women we give our loyalty to those we care deeply about, family, friends, lovers and this recent interaction left me thinking. What inspires true loyalty and when does someone truly earn our unconditional LOYALTY?
Trust: This takes time to build and moments to destroy. When someone proves through their words, deeds and actions that they are someone we can depend on and trust will win our loyalty. Being truthful, honest, and most of all walking your talk, or to put it another way matching your deeds and your words.
Make an Effort: Put in time and work into your friendships and relationships. Take the time to be there for the people in your life, please note this is not to be done at your own expense as life needs to have a good balance of give and take. All relationships be they friendship or other require a two way street with equal traffic on both sides or they will at some point crumble or lead to resentment of course traffic flow on either side is subject to change at times. It is amazing how much a small effort can make a world of difference.
Live authentically: It goes back to walking your talk but more than that it means being true to your highest self. Living your life to the best of your ability. It also means actually learning to listen and trust your intuition and not the fear or societal pressures to be this or that. To march to the beat of your own drum proudly and without apology for being your best you.
Use your wisdom: When helping others use your wisdom. Always look to forgiveness and kindness rather than being right. It is through forgiveness and love that we can begin to often in the darkest times find our lessons and growth as humans. Sometimes compassion and wisdom are our greatest tools.
Be Reliable: It is amazing how doing what you say you will and following through on even the smallest things will inspire great loyalty in others.
These are just a few things that inspire loyalty along with time, friendship and making the effort to build strong foundations into all your relationships/friendships.
The people we admire the most often inspire the strongest sense of loyalty.
Now I am not saying that you also have to be disloyal to those undeserving of loyalty, gossiping, bad mouthing and in general running others down is actually not helpful to you or them. Think of the energy behind idle gossip, behind hurtful and nasty words and ask yourself the following question
“Do I really need to put that kind of energy into the world?”
Sometimes we all need to vent. It is healthy to allow anger to wash over us and then leave. However it is not healthy for us (this is not even about the other person here) to hold onto toxic and negative thoughts and emotions.
In all cases you need to be able to be 100% honest with yourself about why you feel this way.
There is a very famous Eleanor Roosevelt quote “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” this along with “What ye sow, so shall ye reap” are two motto’s I live by.
Loyalty is a strange thing; often times the people who inspire the strongest sense of loyalty have no idea that others feel that way about them. It is an intangible. Something you cannot see or know until it is put to the test.
The point of this however is to make you think. To question before you place unwavering faith, trust and loyalty in someone. Make sure they are worthy of this most amazing of gifts.
Till next we meet on life’s journey may you inspire true loyalty from those you love!
In love and light