I have noticed something lately and it has been bugging me a lot. Some online friends when I say hi and we start what appears to be a good fun chat seem intent on bringing the mood down.
Now I understand we all have things we are going through at times. We all need to vent, ask advice or just plain get it off our chest. I do not mean that sort of conversation. This is something more. Something deeper.
It is so hard to explain in words sometimes. However some conversations feel like you’re going 10 rounds of emotional hell and they take their toll. Some are just plain exhausting. Others it feels sometimes like no matter what you say the other person has their own agenda and seems to want to drag you into their Pitt of despair.
Think before you do this. I say this not to be a bitch or to be mean. However bad moods just like a good fit of the giggles can be catching.
There is nothing worse than being in a cheerful mood and having what you think is a cheerful conversation only to have it turn into an I am going to drag you down to my mood kind of thing.
It can happen subtly, or in a blink of an eye. The conversation goes from happy to slowly darker and you get asked questions that truly do bring you down. Life is too short for this.
If you find I am not talking to you as often. It may well be because I don’t want to clutter up what I call my Inner well spring of happiness with what ifs, maybes and things that are best left in the past.
Now before you read into this and assume that the past has yet to be dealt with let me assure you I am a big believer in dealing with issues as they arise and then moving forward.
Have you ever noticed when someone is truly not doing well, if you ask them how they are they will say FINE! If I say I am good it means just that I am good. I tend not to be someone to hide my emotions and such but sometimes I do feel that I cannot always speak my mind. Especially when I know friends are going through the hard times. Who needs the added pressure right?
I try to be a good friend. Honestly I do. However there is one thing I have learned repeatedly over the years and that is to allow someone to run around in a circle bashing their head against the same brick wall over and over that is not true friendship.
You might be sitting there shaking your head wondering why I say this. The truth is that in allowing them to do this over and over with you not only helps them destroy their soul but yours as well.
Now we all have moments where it takes time to come to terms with things that have happened and yes a certain amount of rehashing and going over things to learn their lessons is to be expected. However there is a limit as to what is healthy in these cases.
I truly believe that happiness comes from within. Here is a little something I wrote some time ago:
The Internal Well of Happiness
This is my belief about happiness. It comes from within, not from stuff, not from other people but from deep within us. Think of having a well deep within you, you sometimes forget it’s there, rocks (blockages and baggage) often cover up the well sometimes so much that we forget it is there within us, THE POWER TO BE HAPPY, an internal source of endless happiness. It can sometimes take a lot of clearing to reconnect to your internal well of happiness; it can often be a hard road. But the reward for this work is a bottomless well of Happiness, and connection to spirit. We have all the tools to connect with this; it is up to each of us to choose happiness.
So now ask yourself this is it better to aide those we care about to keep cluttering up their wells or to have the courage to say enough running around in circles.
There is something magical that when you stop running around in a circle and stand still you allow that circle to become a straight line. Thus enabling you to move forward or backwards as you choose.
I also understand that my happiness is my responsibility. There are times though when things can unbalance that or perhaps certain friendships put that to the test.
I choose happiness because for me I have never been able to stay miserable or angry for long periods. Laughter is one of the things that make life worth living.
So is true joy that radiates from the inside out. That kind of energy will always draw people to you, just as it can be said so will misery and sadness.
Perhaps it comes down to the old adage that ‘like attracts like’
Also that it is our choices.
Heaven knows I am far from perfect, that I still have so much to learn. However I choose to do so with a sense of humour, and hopefully by not dragging too many others down with me in my more miserable moments.
I am always appreciative of the amazing friends I have. The listen, they commiserate and celebrate with me, they remind me how much I am loved and I hope that I do the same for them.
And yes this is an extra long post to make up for missing a week, due to a lack of finding something I truly wanted to write about.
Till next we meet on life’s journey may you find your internal wellspring of happiness and never lose it.
In love and light