Bullying

Is never acceptable in any form!

As a small child I was bullied and teased from an early age. In truth I have never really felt like I have fit or belonged anywhere. Long before size was even a remote issue.

Some kids just seemed destined to be picked on. It also seems to run in the family. As my eldest niece was bullied all through primary school although now day’s the bullying seems to have taken a far nastier turn in the form of beatings and much harsher words.

At boarding school it was for the first year about being acceptable and trying to fit in. Unfortunately as Murphy’s Law states “If you try to please everybody somebody won’t like it” and this proved true. The upside of this is that I learned early on that the only thing I could and would be is MYSELF.

At boarding school I was treated badly, taken advantage of (when you have a generous, kind and giving nature and at the time had not learned to say that sometimes hardest of words NO), teased, bullied, made to throw up regularly by having Epsom salts put in my food and drink and other such things.

Many times in life it is hard to stand tall and stay true to yourself. Yet I have managed to find the resilience to get through every obstacle thrown at me. Sometimes not in the best way admittedly, some things are still works in progress and others may never actually change who I am as a person inside or out.

Do I shout all the steps I am taking from the rooftop? NO you may ask why not? Well honestly it really is not anyone else’s business and also I truly do not need the added pressure of the weight of other people’s expectations or it should be done this way or that is not right etc.

Anyway back to the subject at hand.

Since the ananymity of cyber space people feel they have the right to judge others, to be cruel, vindictive and to voice their opinion in very unhelpful unproductive ways.

Seriously if you are to cowardly to say something to someone’s face then live by the if you do not have something nice to say then don’t say it. If you can’t say it to their face then there is a phone call, or emails or private messages to air your ‘Concerns’ or issues or leave well enough alone and get on with the business of living your own life.

Anonymous internet bullying and harassment accomplishes nothing. All it does is show you who participate in such things for the coward you are.

Trying to humiliate others on public forums, Facebook, twitter, blog comments and other such things is not going to change who they are in fact all it does is waste your time and energy.

What is the point of spreading negativity to others?

It often makes me wonder how miserable and deluded these people are who think that harassing someone, who take part in bullying tactics both in real life and online will fundamentally change that person’s life for the better.

Have you not looked at the messages on YouTube in support of anti bullying!

If someone is harassed enough and feel they have no other options as is the case with too many of the Gay, Lesbian, and Transgendered community they sometimes feel there is no other option but to take their own life.

You who bully others in the name of for their own good, each one of you has blood on your hands. For every time you take part in such an action is it from your own misguided beliefs, or just a sense of playing the who is right game. Be it for religious or personal reasons. You have blood on your hands just as surely as if you had used the knife or shot the gun.

You may even feel justified, like your being cruel to be kind to someone but the truth is if you choose to use harsh words and public forums instead of talking to someone with kindness and compassion YOU ARE A BULLY.

No matter what your motivation is to be cruel to someone. No matter what your intentions or what you feel your rights are it is still Bullying.

You can dress it up. Justify it any way you choose. Believe that you are doing it for a person’s own good. However you will never be seen as anything but a cowardly bully who does not even have the courage to approach someone one on one. I am not saying take your bullying to someone in person. There are ways discussions, conversations and other things that are far less cowardly and far far less bully boy tactics. It amazes me how people justify bullying someone as if it is their god given right.

Doing these things anonymously makes you even more of a coward. Why would someone think that their message or so called cruel concern would be taken seriously?

There is a saying from a very old and dear friend who is no longer with us that I truly believe “Those that act the Part of the Worm should not complain when Trodden On”TDW

 

Think before you act, discuss before you assume things about someone’s life or lifestyle from a few random posts here or there.

For those of you who are religious remember the bible states quite clearly “Judge not least you be Judged” Matthew 7:1.

It is so easy to Judge others. To assume you know all about their life and what they deal with on a daily basis. To feel that sexual orientation is wrong. That they are just fat and lazy. That they should not be x x or y religion or whatever your gripe is.

How would you like the tables turned?

Could you handle the level of harassment you dish out?

What do you possibly hope to accomplish by your bullying?

Why are you so unhappy that you feel the need to bring others into your misery?

Who made you the Judge and Jury over others?

Why are you so busy worrying about other people’s lives? Surely you have a life of your own that needs living and requires your attention?

I encourage each and every one of you to consider seriously what you are doing before you spread any negativity in the world.

Think before you act or speak or type recklessly.

Life is such a precious gift. We are each of us so lucky to be here. To have the lives we do have. To have friendships, love, laughter, tears, creativity, hardships, lessons and all the things that make a life truly remarkable.

I beg you to think before you act in such harmful toxic ways. If you do not like how I or others live their lives it is simple remove yourself from that person’s life or honestly Shut up and deal with it.

Life is short. Remember to embrace those you love and tell them you love them regularly. Remind them of how amazing they truly are.

Till next we meet on life’s journey may you never bully or be bullied.

 

In Love and Light

Amanda


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About heavenlyimaginings

A crafter from the time I was a small child. My love of crafting has developed into a passion for making Artist Original Bears, Scrapbooking, making fascinators and hair accessories, as well as dabbling in other bits and pieces such as making the occasional small bag. I craft on a budget. Try and reuse and recycle where I can (I wish I lived closer to a big reverse cycle garbage type place). In truth I play when I craft. It is such an adventure. Often do not spend time looking for tutorials and tips online preffering to meander though in my own way. After all if you do not know the rules then you have no problems breaking all of them. Have to be honest and say I truly love being pushed out of my creative comfort zone, as it is in those moments that you have to stretch yourself and your imagination that often you create the most amazing works of art. Also passionate about Spirituality. I discovered my psychic gifts at age 19 and have walked along the spiritual path for 19 years now.
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5 Responses to Bullying

  1. Worth Commenting says:

    it is nice when people speak up about bullying…not enough know the effects. thanks

    • Thank you for the feedback, you know I think so many people find it easy to ignore bullying because it has not happened to them or it is to hard to deal with standing up. I am very glad it is an issue that is bought into the light of day and talked about more than ever. I am also very glad most schools have strict anti bullying policies now and that whilst it is still an issue there is more than ever being said and done about it.

  2. fraemagic says:

    You are amamzing to write such a personal experience but then I know this
    What gets to me about such people why they reamain annoymous because they are cowards and prefer to hide behind the tag of being someone who thinks they know you so well that they can bully a person because they have the “right” to do so because it is in their eyes the “truth”
    Which begs the question who’s truth someone who may have said something to them in an of the cuff remark or someone who thinks they know the person they are bulling for whatever reason and yet really have no idea what is going on in the persons life they may know a bit but not all
    To the cowardly bullies remember one day whatever you do will come back to bite you no matter what may take yaers but it does come back, every action has a reaction it’s called Karma enjoy yours people !!!!

  3. Stephen Watta says:

    Thanks Amanda your blog post moved me to tears. 🙂

  4. castingpearls7 says:

    When a person is cruel, it says much about them, not you. They can wrap it up in pretty packaging like ‘because I care’, ‘because no one else will tell you’, ‘because it’s for your own good’, etc. Those are excuses to justify abusive behavior. There is no such thing as cruel to be kind and any examples given such as ‘tough love’ or intervention type things are not the same because those people face those they care about and allow for discussion and response. A bully doesn’t want to discuss; they want to attack and run. They run, because at heart they’re cowards. Great post. Much love and light.

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