Chatting to a friend recently I realised how lucky I was as a fat teenager to have role models like Magda Subanzki, Julia Morris, Jo Brand and Dawn French.
It is interesting to note that back then whilst fat was frowned upon and I heard far too often that if I just lost weight I could be a model the whole “you have such a pretty face” (the irony of being forced to run laps around an oval and my size not really changing is not lost on me either). That it was not as “evil” and “vile” as it is now (the funny thing about that is that whilst yes there are bitches and what not amongst fat chicks just like skinny ones there is a lot of big hearts to go with those big bodies)
I was immersed in the world of comedy as a Teenager. Fast Forward gave us Magda and there were no fat jokes at her expense. She was a part of the cast and treated with respect.
When did it become ok to hate on fat people? It has crept into so many places these days including a lot of great TV shows. I noticed it earlier in the year where there were subtle and some not so subtle fat jokes (of the derogatory kind) creeping in.
I love HIMYM however in the episode about Barney’s perfect week there is a moment where the amount of women he has slept with comes up and the comment is made “and not a single fatty among them”
How hard it must be to be a teenager even an active one with this sort of humour being ok now.
In spite of everyone else telling me I should lack confidence and hate myself for being fat growing up. I just didn’t. I don’t know where the sense of confidence and happiness with who I was came from; it has just always been there.
I was put on my first diet around age 11/12, because I like nearly every child used to try and sneak extra junk food my Mother decided all junk food needed to be locked away and had my Father drill holes in the floor and install deadbolts on the pantry (I kid you not). Junk food became something I was so rarely allowed to have that of course when I was then allowed to have it I went overboard.
There are lessons to be learned though my Mother did what she did because she was warned that genetically I was pre disposed to being FAT. Given that my birth mother is a larger woman.
I was lucky. I had role models. Not only had that but my role models never said that they hated who they were. I feel so very lucky to have grown up in a world where whilst the pressure to conform and fit in was still there it was not so prevalent.
The whole think before you act, condemn and judge others comes to mind here. I never felt like I lacked friends or a social life for that matter.
It is interesting to look back on especially because even walking to my letterbox just outside my own front door these days I can be harassed.
To be honest at one point I really was letting it get to me, I did not want to (and some days I still fight the feeling) go anywhere or do anything. It is hard to want to when just walking to the small shops near me on any given day can lead to coping verbal abuse.
I love seeing my feisty nature return the sense of if you have a problem with who I am fuck you. In fact the last time (just a week or so ago) that I copped verbal abuse for daring to step foot outside my very own front door and check for mail all I could think was fuck you.
In a world where children are forced to become soldiers, or slave labour. Where people are still dying of hunger and diseases, where we are still hurting mother earth I can’t help but feel we are all being distracted by fat hate.
A world that unites no matter what size, shape, race, religion or sexuality you are must scare some people. We are fed such myths and misinformation at times.
For anyone who takes the time to do the research Yo-Yo dieting is actually very dangerous to your health. Yet the diet industry is built on the whole concept of Yo-Yo dieting. If you get well, healthy or lose all the weight and keep it off then you are not going to pour more money into their greedy little hands it is that simple.
Not only this but you will stop buying their products. Do you know how dangerous the fake sugar substitute is for you? It has been proven to cause cancer yet it is still pushed on us as better for us.
How much filler? How many chemicals? Go into the extra processing of DIET foods? Why are there no studies done on the long term effects of these foods?
Surely homemade and fresh is better than frozen and pre packaged. No matter what the hype.
Let me make this clear in case you’re missing the point here.
It is not ok to make fun of, bully, belittle or make derogatory comments about anyone based on SIZE, SHAPE, RACE, RELIGION, or SEXUAL ORIENTATION!!!
Just in case my blogs have not made it clear enough in the past.
We are all human beings; we all have our own struggles, our own journey, our own lessons to learn and our own path to tread.
Life can be hard enough without the added pressure to conform to ideals that are unrealistic, unfair or even just downright dangerous.
It is not up to any of us to decide how another should or should not live their lives. Yet more and more people feel the need to comment and criticise others. To use the anonymity of the internet to belittle and make others feel bad about whom they are.
This is not on. I live by and stand by the motto “Treat others how you wish to be treated” as well as “What ye sow so shall ye reap”.
The people that bully and belittle others often feel threatened, are deeply insecure or just downright miserable in their own life and want others to be as miserable as they are. Please remember that they are in deep pain and that you do not have to retaliate or buy into what they are trying to sell you.
You are Amazing! Nothing short of a miracle! You are Beautiful! You are unique! You are simply and wonderfully HUMAN!
May you have role models like mine, believe in yourself and allow the inner beauty of who you are to shine forth
Till next we meet on life’s journey
In Love and Light