Here is something I was talking about with a friend, not only that but it is something I have been working on for myself as well.
Life has not been easy this year. I think it’s safe to say that since the time I broke my leg which was one of the toughest things I have endured on my own, that this year has been the hardest so far.
I could lie and say oh I got through it easily and I am ok. The truth is for a brief time I wondered if it wouldn’t be easier if I simply stopped breathing. Yep it got that bad. I could lie and cover up these things but this blog has always been about me being honest about who I am, my life and my thoughts and feelings (note the use of the word MY how others see things is entirely in their hands).
Anyway my councilor reminded me of the stuff I have learned through ACT therapy and also about Mindfulness.
Mindfulness is about being present in the moment. Something I have been thinking more and more about lately. This is the first year I have had nothing planned to look forward to, no short trips away, no major events and even if there were no money to go to them.
Not alone there there are lots of people in the same boat and I am currently working on some ideas for my etsy store to at least help out a little.
I have a great deal of love and support around me through Friends, through West St, my councilor and I am very blessed to know and have the friends I do.
They help build me up and remind me of who I am. Someday’s you need that others you don’t but its always great to have. It is so important to be surrounded by those who will unconditionally love you and support you rather than tear you down.
This last week is the first week I have had a full week to myself in pretty much about a year. I need it.
It is what got me thinking about presence and being present in each moment.
I took the time to read, to play games, to create (In fact I finished a project that has taken me 2 months but it was worth it), to do chores and actually just flow with how I was feeling at the time.
When I create I tend to loose myself in that moment and be fully present in what I am doing. The same when I read or play games. However at other times I am distracted and find it hard to focus on the moment.
Taking time for ourselves we often consider selfish, or something many people feel they don’t have time for. The truth is that taking time for ourselves, to be present in our own lives is VITAL, it is what rejuvinates us, stops us from burning out, and gives us a chance to just wind down.
For me I am at burn out stage, I spend so much time and energy helping others around me, helping them off ledges that sometimes I forget to take the time I need for myself. Something I am learning I need to do more and more. I am learning to put myself first.
My life will never cease to be a work in progress. I have said many times I am far from perfect and feel like I still have so much to learn and so much wisdom to gain.
So now I stop when I need to, I try and follow what my body and mind want, I try not to beat myself up when I can’t do something or something happens that stops me being able to do something I had set my mind to or when I feel like I have made a mistake or done something wrong. I try to learn from all I do.
I am still fulfilling promises and things I said I would do for friends, if I owe you something please let me know (I do have a list with a few things on it).
Creativity is my sanity, take that away and I am pretty sure I would be in a crumpled heap unable to get out of bed.
I have so much in my life, but sometimes like everyone I forget or take it for granted.
It comes back to being present in each moment. In taking time to enjoy things like reading or music or creating or whatever it is that makes you feel good and light and joyous.
Even just sitting somewhere taking deep breaths and being mindful of what you see and hear around you can pull you into a peaceful present moment.
This is where my journey is taking me, there is change coming I have felt it. I know it but like all important change and growth it often comes from the deepest and darkest times of our lives.
I am scared and yet excited. I am happy that I am finding my way through what has at times seemed like an endless long dark tunnel.
And believe me like everyone I have my moments where it feels like the darkness will never receede and the light will never banish the shadows but I know they will. Of course they will because I actively work on it.
So until next we meet on life’s journey be present, be mindful, be yourself
In Love and Light